Golfer's grunt

I was watching a game of tennis on tv over the weekend, or should I say listening. Maria Sharapova holds the loudest grunt, recorded at 101 decibels. Is a grunt just an involuntary release at a moment of physical exertion or deliberate gamesmanship? Martina Navratilova explained there's more to a grunt that just irritating your opponent. A good grunt can drown out the sound of a ball hitting the racket, denying your opponent clues about your shot. Some coaches are now teaching players to grunt as an integral part of their game to help focus aggression.

I can't recall hearing many golfers grunt, but Monty must of let a few out. Do I now need to go and perfect my golfers grunt? There must be some technical tips in the golfing mags.

Next time on the tee, I'm going to launch an almighty shriek. Not sure if I can get away with that whilst standing over a six foot putt.


Money money money

Imagine you're a top golfer, big shiny trophies in the cabinet, sponsors, houses, numerous bank accounts all loaded with cash. Just rewards for being the best, for all of those sacrifices, years of dedication and practise.

You're offered a couple of million appearance fee, for a tournament down-under. Great. I'll buy another pad or another jet. Hang on. Half the fee is being paid by the ordinary tax payer. Who already pay proportionally more tax than their richer buddies. How can you defend this?

It's not just in golf. Australians are stumping up a 20 million race fee to a billionaire motor racing mogul. If I were an Aussie citizen, I'd rather give it up to the golfer.

But to me they are both morally bankrupt.



Here at Golf Refugees we advocate no dress code (NDC). We'd just like to see as many people playin golf whether that be in blazers, stomach churning jumpers, jeans or just in your undies like Henrik.

Naturally, we'd like you to ask a few soul searching questions about your next apparel purchase. Is is ethically made? Is it highly polluting? Visually and chemically.

It's a pity most of the top pros have a dressed from head to toe contract with a leading brand. Wouldn't it be more visually stimulating if they could pic'n mix their clothing?

In our opinion Tiger looks dull, all in Nike, dressin ten years older. Poulter looks as though he tries way too hard. And Sergio always reminds us of junk food colourings.



I'm feelin we don't celebrate individualism enough.

We are all too keen to jump in with the in-crowd for fear of standing out alone.
Fashionable people aren't the ones who go out and buy what so called experts have said to wear this season. The genuine fashionites are the ones who don't look fashionable.

This leads me to an article I read about golfer Laura Davies, who celebrates the fact that she has never had a golf lesson in her life. She plays golf with her own unique style and swing relying on her own instincts. No coach, mental or physical, just Laura. She says 'If you can trust yourself you don't need a coach'.

I really admire people like Laura, who have the courage and belief to do things their way.


Golf Bug

Late last year, we were contacted by the commercial manager for Golf Bug tv, part of Simply Sports Media, requesting samples of our original black golf ball, disposable golf bag 'Bin Bag' and a selection of our carbon neutral organic cotton polo shirts.

They were filming a feature for 'The Back 9' programme at Celtic Manor and could we send our gear overnight. All very exciting for Golf Refugees stuff to be reviewed on a innovative web based tv golf channel.

All seemed swell, very positive feedback from their presenters for our golf products and eco clothing, though indifferent comments for Bin Bag. We were given written confirmation of the 10 th December 09, for the live show. Naturally, we told all of our friends and customers to watch it.

After the no-show. I rang the commercial manager of Golf Bug tv to find out what had happened. To be informed that he no longer worked for Simply Sports Media and our samples had gone awol. It was all a scam. Feelin a bit cheesed off, I sent a request for our samples to be returned or the equivalent value with a covering letter outlining all the contact we've had with their absconding former commercial manager. Their Chief Executive eventually called us to apologise and promised us a feature during 2009.

Still waiting.


Graffiti ball offer

For a limited period only, Golf Refugees are offering their 'graffiti' graphic three-piece golf ball at a price which reflects only the cost of manufacture, approximately 30 pence per ball.


Smash them all over the place.


How much?

Apparently the market for premium golf balls is growing. Even though the number of rounds of golf being played has remained static over the past few years. More regular golfers are switching to these expensive 'techno' golf balls.

Such balls, with their thinner covers and seamless manufacturing techniques carry a hefty price tag. Say, forty quid a dozen or over three pounds per ball. Yeaks! If you happen to slice your first drive into the mire. But where does all that dosh go?

The retailers don't seem to be making much of a margin on them, only £6 to £8 per dozen box. The remaining £32 - £34 is divided up between the research and development costs, packaging and distribution, all those glossy advertisements and player endorsements. That just leaves profit for the particular brand and the cost of manufacturing.

How much do these premium golf balls cost to manufacturer? Well, about £3 per dozen box, or just 25 pence a ball. Doesn't sound too bad now, if you smash one into the trees. A real pity you have to pay for all of that other expensive marketing stuff.



Golf Girl; Lilly
Illustration by Anne Muhonen


Competition! How low can we go?

Golf Refugees, creators of the original black golf ball, are launching a competition to find the lowest score achieved by a golfer using a black golf ball.

We don't like rules, so we're tryin to keep them to a minimum. This worldwide competition is open to anyone who plays eighteen holes of consecutive golf using a black golf ball, between the 1 st March 2009 and 30 th September 2009. Winner to be announced on 5 th October 2009.

If you contact us with your details and a pre-paid postage envelope, we'll send you a free black golf ball.

After your round, all you have to do to, is send us a copy of your signed score card, and we'll post all of the results on our web site.
You can contact Golf Refugees via our web site; http://www.golf-refugees.com/

The winner will receive the 'Best black ball golfer' trophy and a selection of prizes including golf balls, clothing etc. Good luck!



To become a member of The Royal & Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews,
the governing body of golf.

You'll require a low handicap.
A thorough understanding of the rules of golf.
And a penis.

Rossco's 75

You may of guessed that the original black golf ball has never won a golf tournament. We recently shouted about this in one of our adverts 'No tournament wins, So what'. Naturally, we put this down to the fact that we aren't paying a top golf pro sheds loads of money to win us a tournament. Doing some maths, if Tiger wins 30 tournaments a year, and is paid 100 million dollars by Nike over five years, then that's roughly 666,666 US dollars per win. The devil's in the detail.

However, it seems to persuade enough members of the general public to part with their cash for a winning ball. Despite the fact, that they probably swing the club 30 mph less than pro golfers, and would score better playing with a different ball.

But today, Golf Refugees are celebrating. One of our regulars, Rossco contacted us, to record a round of 75, at his local Forfar golf club in Scotland using a black golf ball. We believe this to be the lowest ever score for a round of golf using a black ball. This got us thinking, how low can we go?



The snow's gone and the birds are twittering, Spring is just around the corner. Must be time to blow the cobwebs off the old clubs and take a few practise swings in the garden. I know the pro's take a good divot with a short iron, but hacking a slice of turf from the lawn is never a confidence builder for me. Probably a good idea to book a couple of lessons at my local golf club.

They say that cash is king, especially in these economic times, but I prefer something else. Armed with some merchandise, I'm looking for that twinkle of opportunity in the young pro's poker face eyes for an exchange of services. I hope he's feelin he's got a bargain. A couple of brand spanking new Golf Refugees carbon neutral organic cotton polo shirts and a dozen box of original black balls for three lessons. Who needs pie and mash?


Members only

There's a plush private golf club near us, with a plethora of members only signs where ever you look. You can't wear this and you can't wear that. The usual collared shirts and long socks with tailored shorts when playing and blazers with creased slacks in the Clubhouse. Car park full of Aston Martins, BMW's and the odd Roller. First years entrance fee a cool 10K, if you can get through the interrogation. I'm not sure if they've ruled out torture, like the UN. It's a tightly run ship especially if you're from the wrong end of town, or more importantly poor. Plenty of rules to keep them out.

Membership enhanced by some minor celebrities and plenty of representation from the legal fraternity. Naturally, the club turns a blind eye to some illegal gambling and due diligence of where your money comes from. Who cares if it's from running brothels or arms dealing.

Ok ramble over. My point. It may seem childish, but I really enjoy playing at these posh clubs. I can feel numerous sets of beady little eyes staring at me, which can bring a slight shiver to my shoulders. But it's a challenge, a bit of a victory to play at such elitist golf clubs wearing fake golf shoes, reversed indigo denim pants and planting a black golf ball on the first tee. That's not strictly accurate. I usually wait until the first green to get my original black ball out.