Peter Alliss is the voice of golf in the UK.

Last year Golf Refugees had a slight brush-off with him, his lawyers and his management company when they all took offense to our press advertisement for the original black ball. The ad featured an image of our black golf ball and a humorous headline which said 'Peter Alliss just choked on his cornflakes.' 

Anyway, here's what Alliss has had to say on the eve of The Masters, with extracts from an interview for The Times:

“I’m surprised, in a way, they are letting Tiger play there,” Alliss said. “It either shows they have a desire to be helpful or a weakness. It would have been rather grand — but would have perpetuated the stupidity of it — if they had said, ‘Sorry, we don’t want your sort here.'"

“But if he had to start somewhere, that’s the safest place because it is so controlled. Personally, I think it’s a little bit cowardly.”

Alliss went on:

“He’s been caught shagging birds. He’s not been married all that long and he’s an idiot. If he was sitting here now, I’d say, ‘Tiger, you are an idiot.'"

“But we’ve all done stupid things. If you are a red-blooded male and you’re chatted up by a decent-looking bird, it’s very hard to not say yes. It was a lot easier in my day. I remember some very famous golfers who used to book into hotels as Mr and Mrs.”

“My lasting memory is seeing Ian Woosnam come out of the front door at Augusta p***ed with Sam Torrance. Both of them fell in the bushes and it wasn’t a very good sight. I thought, ‘Boys, boys. Get a couple of bottles and go home. Don’t get p***ed here.’”

Perhaps most surprising is Alliss’s criticism of Augusta National and the Masters itself. Men only? That’s fine by him.

“I think they do many things wrong, but they do an awful lot of things right. They have an air of oppression, an air of fear. You can see it in the way they control the fans — or the ‘patrons’, as they call them. It’s all bulls***, but it’s good bulls***. Everyone is frightened of them because they don’t want to be pushed out.”

And what rules are there for commentators?

“You meet people who tell you, ‘We don’t do this, we don’t do that.’ They’ve got rid of commentators before. One such was Gary McCord, who was barred after saying that the greens were so slick they must have been “bikini waxed” and that the bumps in the terrain resembled "body bags”.

Peter Alliss, he's a ******* hero.



Just a few days to go before the first event of Amatour 2010, at The Princes Golf Club in Sandwich on 29th March. There’s still time for you to register and play at this Championship links golf course. Registration is free at the Amatour web site.

"The Finest links course" Henry Cotton.
"Britain's finest course" Gene Sarazen.

There'll be a bacon sarnie to start to with, and for those who are vegetarians a bacon sarnie without the bacon. Plus some nice prizes from Golf Refugees.

Golf Refugees are slightly concerned that when the wind blows our signage board will fly over the white cliffs of Dover. A plea to all ships in the English Channel, could you please try to avoid smashing it and return to the harbour master. He’s the one with a white beard, an anchor emblem on his woolly jumper, eating a plate of fish fingers.



With The Master’s hysteria just around the corner - Amen Corner - picture editors will be filling their pages of endless golf magazines with the greens of Augusta. Even if it’s only green paint. With the odd splash of colour from the rhododendrons or Ian J. Poulter wearing his phallic inspired logoed pink shirt.

Golf Refugees would like to suggest an alternative image for golf editors. How about this thought provoking picture of Raja and Viplav in uptown Mumbai?

(Photo: Tomasz Gudzowaty/Focus/Hollandse Hoogte)



When I say boycott Tiger, I don’t mean stop watching him play golf. I mean boycott all of his sponsors' products.

These are the money men behind the manipulated false image and the deliberate staging of his robotic apology in the middle of a major golf event.

I’m sure they all think that different rules still apply to them.

The Master’s at Augusta is a really good choice for Tiger’s return; with the restricted and highly vetted media and the club not allowing any women members (how very 21st century), plus the money men will be rubbing their hands with glee at all the extra exposure for an already high profile tournament. 
Tiger’s got a billion dollars in the bank, minus the money his lawyers are paying to keep his women acquaintances quiet and a few legal bills trying to keep any nasty images out of the hands of the gutter press.

He could have negotiated his way out of his remaining sponsors contracts and just played golf, concentrated on his excellent golf foundation and other charitable pursuits.

But no. He has decided to continue to flog all sorts of stuff from razors to cars and the odd sweatshop shirt.

And for that Golf Refugees asks you to boycott all of his sponsors products. Any takers?



Maurice Flitcroft came to golf late, after reading instructional articles by former US PGA champion Al Geiberger.

He acquired his clubs by mail order. Practiced bunker shots from the long-jump pit of an athletics field and putted into buried coffee cans in his back yard.

Occasionally, he wandered near a golf course; "I'd park at the perimeter and nip over the fence and hit a few shots".

He was 46 years old and living on Social Security when he decided to play in The Open. He borrowed the entry fee from his wife, Jean.

On the first tee for the qualifying round at Formby, "Flitcroft hoisted it straight up, it came down vertically, and the ball travelled precisely four feet."

Maurice's 121 was 49 over par. Still the worst score in the Open's 145 years.

His fame extended across the Atlantic to Grand Rapids, Michigan, where brothers Terry and Tim Moore decided Blythefield Country Club should name its spring member-guest event in his honour.

Maurice Flitcroft's life story, called ‘The Phantom of the Open', comes out in the summer.



It’s getting nearer to the opening event for Amatour 2010, from the Princes Golf Club near the white cliffs of Dover on the 29th March.

We’ve been pondering over our on-course presence. Being Golf Refugees we didn’t plump for the usual portable outdoor banner stuff you see at most sporting events, at a cool 199 (UK)pounds a pop. Oh no. Off to the shed and a quick trip with our beer money to the local B&Q for some wood, bolts and glue to build a frame. Then the fun part, a stencil and an opportunity to get our spray cans out.

Hey presto, the Golf Refugees outdoor display. Let’s hope it doesn’t rain and blow too hard.



Instead of chucking out your old clubs why not ‘upcycle’ them, a phrase coined by AntiNu, creators of the sublime ‘Golf Club Coat Rack’.
A great place to hang a green jacket.



Oil, gas, petroleum, the crack cocaine of the modern world. Oil will be the downfall of the species, the addiction runs too deep.

Is it time to swap your ‘oil slick’ petroleum-derived polyester golf polo? Wipe the oil stain from your back and breathe a little easier.

'Love Oil’ illustration by Paul Baines - UK urban artist. http://paulbaines.co.uk/