Did anyone else notice that Yani Tseng, 21 year old Taiwanese winner of the women’s British Open, wore black jeans at Royal Birkdale? Hell’s bells.

Solely for the purposes of equality, I slipped into my black jeans and headed off to my local private prestigious golf club. It just happens to be where Poulter gets paid 30k per year, plus his own parking space and his phallic logoed clobber in the Pro shop for acting as the club’s touring professional. He is loved by one and all, from the juniors to the seniors.

Now it’s £65 pounds for a weekday eighteen holes, with my faded and not so straight credit card in my back pocket, I cruised around the parking area hunting down a suitable spot. There were some nice motors from Jags, Range Rover’s but you just can’t beat parking next to an Aston Martin in a battered, twenty year old Honda Accord. You never know the owner may leave a satisfying dent whilst opening their over-sized doors.

As I walked past the not so glamorous clubhouse, with a confident stride in my step you only get from parking next to an Aston. Opening the door to the colourful Pro shop and enquiring if it’s ok to play in these whilst tugging on my black jeans.

Naturally I informed him that they now allow black jeans at Royal Birkdale. To which he replied, 'then Sir you'd better go and play there'.


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  2. I'm contemplating wearing a bra with my black jeans to see if that can get me on the golf course.