Top 10 Unwritten Rules
About Golf
Golf has so many written rules it would take a stenographer to list
them, and a warehouse to store them. However, like life itself, the unwritten
rules are usually most important. These rules are unwritten because they are
both common sense and courtesy. Unfortunately, many people seem to lack one or
the other, so here are the top-ten unwritten golf rules, now written, for those
who need them.
Fore!
Many new people to golf believe this to be a golf cliché. It is not.
The word has been shortened from, “Forecaddie.” This was the caddy who stood
around where the ball was expected to land. “Forecaddie!” was shouted to alert
him that the ball was coming. Any player who fears their ball may hit somebody
owes it to that person to shout this word.
Temper, Temper, Temper
Good behavior is expected from people whether they are in line at a
grocery store, or 10-putting the eighteenth hole. Keeping one's temper will
also shave strokes off their score. In 1938, at the US Open at Cherry Hill, Ray
Ainsley lost his temper when his ball landed in a creek. Instead of taking a
drop and moving on, the enraged Ainsley tried to hack it out of the creek.
Onlookers that day said he looked like a madman. His 19 strokes on the 18th
that day remain a record for a major golf tournament.
Go Around
Too often, new golfers make the mistake of walking across the path
of the putt someone is about to make. The spikes on the golf shoes may alter
the green enough to impede an otherwise good putt. Anyone who walks in the
direct path of a putt may as well just yell, “Miss it!”
Bunker Raking
In addition to being a great bit of alliteration that is fun to say,
bunker raking is an important task as well. Nobody wants their ball landing in
the moon crater that another player dug by swinging their way out of it. Any
player who has disturbed a sand trap sufficiently, should neaten it up a bit.
More Yard Work
People golf to get away from life's mundane tasks. However, people
who take chunks of turf out of the course are expected to replace those divots.
The Long Goodbye
Unless there are cameras crowding the 18th hole and the
name of the course is Augusta, players should not linger after they finish the
hole. They should save their congratulations, hugs, water drinking, and
rehashing of the match for when they exit the green. People are still waiting
to play.
Quiet
People who are about to shoot have a busy mind. They are telling
themselves to relax, asking themselves if their approach is right, to tighten
up, to keep their head down, to make sure their back swing is smooth, not to
swing too hard, not to move their head—they don't need to hear somebody talking
about getting smashed after the game. The other players need to be quiet while
a player is preparing to swing.
Hold That Pose
As with talking during a swing, players should hold still while
someone in their group is about to swing. The other players don't necessarily
have to look like players in a game of Freeze Tag, but they shouldn't be
texting, or suddenly deciding they need to stretch or start scratching their
numerous mosquito bites.
Dress For Respect
Why, when you see someone dressed like a homeless person, do you
assume they are homeless? Probably, because they are homeless. If you were to
see a person barking at cars, the odds are that person would be dressed in
Hefty Bags and stained bell-bottoms. You probably would not find such a person
on the golf course. While golf can make you barking mad, you should respect the
course, your partners, and yourself. Also, it is embarrassing when someone in a
group that is playing through mistakes you for a panhandler and tries to hand
you a dollar "for a cup of coffee or something."
Cell Phones
The only thing more certain than some fool yelling, "Get in the
hole!" at a major, is a cell phone going off at your local municipal
course while somebody is preparing to shoot. Cell phone junkies will read this
and think it does not pertain to them; it does. Turn the phone off, or better
yet, leave it in the car.
While most unwritten rules are unwritten because they are mostly
common sense, sometimes it doesn't hurt to write them down anyway; ask Moses.
The unwritten rules of golf could probably rival the written rules for volume.
They need not. People who follow these rules will ensure that golf will be just
a bit more enjoyable for all.
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