ECO GOLF RULES STINK

Tom from 'thegolfstinksblog' kindly sent us this response from one of their readers;http://golfstinks.blospot.com

Dear golfers of the world,

Haven't we heard enough about eco-this and eco-that? The tree-huggers already have a day dedicated to the well-being of the planet: Earth Day...and it was last Friday - I think we're good till next year, no?

It's bad enough Al Gore is running around like Chicken Little yelling the sky is falling, but now the "green" movement is encroaching on our golf games to boot.

First the environmentalists complained that golf courses messed up the local wildlife (big deal - it's not like the golf industry is BP). Then they observed that it takes a ton of water to keep a course green...not to mention a ton of chemicals (so there's a little chemical run-off - who drinks out of a stream anymore anyway)? I mean, what's next - outrage over the billions and billions of lost golf balls littering the planet? The gas used in our carts? The trees chopped to accommodate an additional 18 holes?

Don't even get me started on all the "eco-golf" websites out there: Places like Turfhugger, Golf & Environment and...of all sites to jump on the bandwagon; Golf Stinks...with posts HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE - about...yep, you guessed it...Golf and the freaking environment. When will it end?

Well, it appears no time soon. If the aforementioned wasn't eco-nauseous enough, the hippies over at Golf Refugees have developed "a set of environmental golf rules." Apparently, they feel they have the cojones large enough to petition the the USGA and R&A to alter the Rules of Golf to accommodate their new eco-rules - what silliness!

I'm so sick of hearing that golf is made up of a bunch of rich fat cats that don't care about the environmental impacts of the game they love. I say the exact opposite is true: We've taken what was once useless wilderness and turned it into something for everyone to use (well, that is...everyone that has the prim and properness to wear chinos and a collared shirt; frivolously spend on the latest golf balls, shoes and gloves; fork over a small fortune on greens fees; spend hundreds - in some cases thousands - on a decent set of golf clubs; and have a car to put it all in...preferably something with 8 cylinders that comfortably fits 7).

So please don't let all this eco-hype fool you. Golf courses are doing nothing wrong and there's no such thing as global warming. Just go about your business as usual and I hope to see you all at your local course this weekend (just ignore those yellow "caution pesticide application" signs on each tee-box - they're totally hog wash)!

Sincerely,

The Traditional Golf Industry

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NUMERO UNO

US golf expert Brian Murphy says Tiger Woods is still the World’s number one golfer.
Brain goes on to say ‘In our heart of hearts, we know the best player in the world is Tiger Woods. When Tiger fell from his top perch last fall, we barely noticed that Lee Westwood took his spot. We were too busy wringing our hands, analyzing Tiger's life, Westwood's reign was flimsy and brief.'
Or, as I like to call these last six months since Tiger fell: "The Number one Ranking: The Lost Year."

Well Brian, let me utter there are plenty of people in Blighty who noticed and celebrated Englishman Lee Westwood achievement in becoming World’s number one golfer.
Tiger is not the World’s best golfer anymore. Like most golf fans I love watching Tiger play. But until he gets his mojo back it’s great to see other golfers in contention for the top prize.

Some of us can remember Lee sliding down the rankings list, almost out of sight after taking time off from golf and now to watch him rise to the top is remarkable.

What a fantastic role model for young golfers.
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WAR ZONE GOLF

If you happen to find yourself playing golf in a war zone, you may want to take a peek at these handy golf rules from Richmond Golf Club circa 1940:

Players are asked to collect bomb and shrapnel to save this causing damage to the mowing machines.

In competitions during gunfire or while bombs are falling, players may take cover without penalty for ceasing play.

The positions of know delayed action bombs are marked by red flags at a reasonable, but not guaranteed, safe distance.

A player whose stroke is affected by the simultaneous explosion of a bomb may play another ball from the same place. Penalty one stroke.

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2TONE

Hybrids are all the rage on the highways.So how about one for the fairways?We all know that golf balls are the same where ever we go,

There is good and bad in everyone.

We learn to live, we learn to give

Each other what we need to survive together alive.

Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony.

Lyrics by Paul McCartney
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WILL AND KATE

It’s nearly time for another Royal wedding.

Preparations are being finalised and there are all sorts of memorabilia in the shops.

Unfortunately we haven’t been invited to the ceremony or disco, but we do receive an extra day’s holiday.

Golf Refugees are going to celebrate with some traditional English food, a lovely pork pie and a sausage roll.

To Will and Kate. Bon appetit.

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ECO GOLF RULES

I’m sure you all know that it’s Earth week. 

To commemorate this eco initiative, Golf Refugees are submitting proposals to the governing bodies of golf (USGA and R&A) to revise their Rules of Golf to incorporate ‘green’ measures.

If you support our eco proposals below, please submit your comments and we’ll include your name with our submission.

Eco Golf Rules;

All tournament approved golf balls should contain a minimum 25% recycled materials.

All tournament golf courses to submit and implement detailed five year plans to reduce water consumption and fertilizer usage by 10% per year.

All tournament officials to wear uniforms made by recycled materials and/or meet carbon neutral manufacturing status.

Please support Golf Refugees in our efforts to persuade the governing bodies of tournament golf to include eco golf rules.

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CRUSTACEANS

Golf Refugees think we’ve found the answer to golf’s poor environmental record and at the same time resolved the technology issue of ever increasing distances driven by the pros.

Those ever so clever boffins at Maine University have developed a biodegradable golf ball made from crushed lobster shells, creating value from waste material.

These lobster balls perform similarly to their traditional polluting white-dimpled counterparts and they can be used with both drivers and irons. But they don’t fly quite as far as regular golf balls.

It all just goes to show that eating fish really does increase your brain power.
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LE SHARK

Apparently Greg Norman didn’t design this course; Carbrook Golf Club, just outside Brisbane, boasts a lake inhabited by thirty killer bull sharks.
Grounds keeper Bill Kipper said "they mainly live on a diet of Pro V1’s with a few Srixon's thrown in. They tend to leave the ladies Pinnacle's as they’re much harder to digest."
Any golfers trying to retrieve their over-priced ball with an extendable metallic ball retriever should probably think about the movie Jaws.
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HUMDINGER

Today I’m suffering from a Masters hangover.I wonder how Rory is feeling? At least he did lead the Masters for three rounds.
Had Rory been paired with Day again or somebody he could have some on-course camaraderie with, I believe his final score would have been nearer 70 than 80. I also wonder if Greg Norman will have a word.

What can you say about deserved winner South African Charl Schwartzel? An unbelievable opening chip, which kissed the grass all the way into the first hole. Followed by a hole-magnet-side-spinning approach on the 3 rd. You can’t blame him for thinking it could be his day. When you still have to birdie the last four holes to win the Masters, these modern young athletic golfers are something else.

Tiger can take credit for that and for another great final round. Only a fool would write off Tiger at Augusta.

It was g’day mates all round between Day and fellow Aussie Scott. Both played with smiles on their faces which transmitted all the great virtues of modern golf. The cameras switched between Day and his good wife, a real humdinger.

In between the birdies a delightful network interlude with Nick Faldo, Sir Nick to his friends, coming from the member’s locker room. Where past Masters winners proudly keep their green jackets in shared wooden cupboards. Made me think if the cut or shade of green had changed at all over the past decades? I did notice there was no room for Nick’s Pringle jumpers.

Is it just me, but after hearing the voice of golf Peter Alliss muttering time and time again how beautiful the trophy was I started to doubt my high definition TV. A solid silver replica of the range-style Augusta clubhouse with extra chimneys. I’m sure Kevin McCloud from Grand Design would wince at the sight.

And finally some good news for Japan with Hideki Matsuyama being the only amateur to make the cut.
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LEFTY'S GAME PLAN

As this years Masters kicks off, last night I watched a review of lefty winning last years green jacket. 
It was intriguing to hear big Phil’s thoughts to gain an understanding of his mental state.

After hitting a great tee shot on the par 3, 12 th, he recalled having a similar putt back in 2004, from where he proceeded to win the Masters. You could see a noticeable spring and fist clenching after he’d sunk the putt believing it could again be his day.

This enhanced self belief manifested itself on the very next hole, with the now infamous shot out of the trees onto the 13th green. His long term caddy ‘bones’ advised him to lay-up. But Phil reiterated he had a good lie and that he just needed to trust in his swing. Bones said "golf fans perhaps don’t fully appreciate Phil is such an aggressive player."

Phil said the tee shot on the par 3 16th over the water is probably the most difficult shot for a lefty at Augusta. As a TV spectator I always thought it was a good birdie opportunity for the best golfers, never realising the extra difficulty for a lefty.

Perhaps Phil’s extra aggression was the overriding winning factor in 2011.
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WATCHING THE MASTERS

How will you be watching the Masters?

Golf Refugees will sit on our eco chairs, made from recycled cardboard tubes, which are also very handy for storing your golf clubs and balls.

During the annoying ad breaks we take a trip into the garden and re-enact our favourite Augusta shots. Probably wise to use practice balls rather than the real mccoy. You may get an unlucky ricochet off the neighbour’s gazebo or slice one into their double-glazed conservatory.

Live Masters telly coverage is going to be a bit tricky unless you've paid your dosh to Murdock’s multi-zillion media empire. Apparently there is new sports package this year which includes phone hacking. Still, there are highlights on the beeb.

Even though we usually plug for a Brit, this year we are hoping for a Ryo victory. On the basis that the winner’s cheque will go towards helping and re-building Japanese hearts and minds.
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TRUE BLISS

One of my favourite golf movie scenes. Bill Murray tees off with Mount Fuji backdrop in the film 'Lost in Translation.'
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