Watching the detectives

I have watched a few TV crime programmes and detectives in my time, to know a thing or two about getting to the bottom of a case. It is very important to preserve evidence at the scene of a crime, and a reconstruction of the events leading up to the crime can help jog the public imagination and bring new witnesses forward to help crack the case.

So here goes....... I’ve hired a big SUV vehicle for the day, and asked my girlfriend to wear a long blonde wig, to breathe in a lot and try to look sexy, whislt running down a long drive way in her pj’s brandishing a golf club.

Meanwhile, not used to driving such a large vehicle, I run up the pavement opposite and knock over a neighbours tree.

My girlfriend catches up with me, slightly out of breath, and decides to smash the windows of the SUV with some vigour, in what can only be described as an ’out to in swing’. I had also asked her to grunt a little as I lay there with........

’invisible shivers running down my spine, she pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet,
I don’t know how much more of this I can take’ EC

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