ECO GOLF RULES STINK

Tom from 'thegolfstinksblog' kindly sent us this response from one of their readers;http://golfstinks.blospot.com

Dear golfers of the world,

Haven't we heard enough about eco-this and eco-that? The tree-huggers already have a day dedicated to the well-being of the planet: Earth Day...and it was last Friday - I think we're good till next year, no?

It's bad enough Al Gore is running around like Chicken Little yelling the sky is falling, but now the "green" movement is encroaching on our golf games to boot.

First the environmentalists complained that golf courses messed up the local wildlife (big deal - it's not like the golf industry is BP). Then they observed that it takes a ton of water to keep a course green...not to mention a ton of chemicals (so there's a little chemical run-off - who drinks out of a stream anymore anyway)? I mean, what's next - outrage over the billions and billions of lost golf balls littering the planet? The gas used in our carts? The trees chopped to accommodate an additional 18 holes?

Don't even get me started on all the "eco-golf" websites out there: Places like Turfhugger, Golf & Environment and...of all sites to jump on the bandwagon; Golf Stinks...with posts HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE - about...yep, you guessed it...Golf and the freaking environment. When will it end?

Well, it appears no time soon. If the aforementioned wasn't eco-nauseous enough, the hippies over at Golf Refugees have developed "a set of environmental golf rules." Apparently, they feel they have the cojones large enough to petition the the USGA and R&A to alter the Rules of Golf to accommodate their new eco-rules - what silliness!

I'm so sick of hearing that golf is made up of a bunch of rich fat cats that don't care about the environmental impacts of the game they love. I say the exact opposite is true: We've taken what was once useless wilderness and turned it into something for everyone to use (well, that is...everyone that has the prim and properness to wear chinos and a collared shirt; frivolously spend on the latest golf balls, shoes and gloves; fork over a small fortune on greens fees; spend hundreds - in some cases thousands - on a decent set of golf clubs; and have a car to put it all in...preferably something with 8 cylinders that comfortably fits 7).

So please don't let all this eco-hype fool you. Golf courses are doing nothing wrong and there's no such thing as global warming. Just go about your business as usual and I hope to see you all at your local course this weekend (just ignore those yellow "caution pesticide application" signs on each tee-box - they're totally hog wash)!

Sincerely,

The Traditional Golf Industry

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NUMERO UNO

US golf expert Brian Murphy says Tiger Woods is still the World’s number one golfer.
Brain goes on to say ‘In our heart of hearts, we know the best player in the world is Tiger Woods. When Tiger fell from his top perch last fall, we barely noticed that Lee Westwood took his spot. We were too busy wringing our hands, analyzing Tiger's life, Westwood's reign was flimsy and brief.'
Or, as I like to call these last six months since Tiger fell: "The Number one Ranking: The Lost Year."

Well Brian, let me utter there are plenty of people in Blighty who noticed and celebrated Englishman Lee Westwood achievement in becoming World’s number one golfer.
Tiger is not the World’s best golfer anymore. Like most golf fans I love watching Tiger play. But until he gets his mojo back it’s great to see other golfers in contention for the top prize.

Some of us can remember Lee sliding down the rankings list, almost out of sight after taking time off from golf and now to watch him rise to the top is remarkable.

What a fantastic role model for young golfers.
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WAR ZONE GOLF

If you happen to find yourself playing golf in a war zone, you may want to take a peek at these handy golf rules from Richmond Golf Club circa 1940:

Players are asked to collect bomb and shrapnel to save this causing damage to the mowing machines.

In competitions during gunfire or while bombs are falling, players may take cover without penalty for ceasing play.

The positions of know delayed action bombs are marked by red flags at a reasonable, but not guaranteed, safe distance.

A player whose stroke is affected by the simultaneous explosion of a bomb may play another ball from the same place. Penalty one stroke.

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2TONE

Hybrids are all the rage on the highways.So how about one for the fairways?We all know that golf balls are the same where ever we go,

There is good and bad in everyone.

We learn to live, we learn to give

Each other what we need to survive together alive.

Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony.

Lyrics by Paul McCartney
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WILL AND KATE

It’s nearly time for another Royal wedding.

Preparations are being finalised and there are all sorts of memorabilia in the shops.

Unfortunately we haven’t been invited to the ceremony or disco, but we do receive an extra day’s holiday.

Golf Refugees are going to celebrate with some traditional English food, a lovely pork pie and a sausage roll.

To Will and Kate. Bon appetit.

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ECO GOLF RULES

I’m sure you all know that it’s Earth week. 

To commemorate this eco initiative, Golf Refugees are submitting proposals to the governing bodies of golf (USGA and R&A) to revise their Rules of Golf to incorporate ‘green’ measures.

If you support our eco proposals below, please submit your comments and we’ll include your name with our submission.

Eco Golf Rules;

All tournament approved golf balls should contain a minimum 25% recycled materials.

All tournament golf courses to submit and implement detailed five year plans to reduce water consumption and fertilizer usage by 10% per year.

All tournament officials to wear uniforms made by recycled materials and/or meet carbon neutral manufacturing status.

Please support Golf Refugees in our efforts to persuade the governing bodies of tournament golf to include eco golf rules.

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CRUSTACEANS

Golf Refugees think we’ve found the answer to golf’s poor environmental record and at the same time resolved the technology issue of ever increasing distances driven by the pros.

Those ever so clever boffins at Maine University have developed a biodegradable golf ball made from crushed lobster shells, creating value from waste material.

These lobster balls perform similarly to their traditional polluting white-dimpled counterparts and they can be used with both drivers and irons. But they don’t fly quite as far as regular golf balls.

It all just goes to show that eating fish really does increase your brain power.
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